I can just hear the conversation in the bowels of paper-based reporting regarding what piece to run tomorrow:
Perry White (Editor) – Okay scumbags, what do you have for me today?
Jimmy Olsen (Cub reporter) – I took some pictures of Ben Bernanke in drag while he was celebrating the acceptance of his proposed “quantitative easing”. I just need some copy to go with it to put it in context.
Perry White – Context? What possible context could you put on a picture that was an obvious invasion of privacy?
Clark Kent (Dimwit reporter) – Uh, Chief, I believe that Jimmy is referring to the wisdom of quantitative easing and wants to put the drag pictures in a context that questions such a potentially damaging economic policy.
Perry White – Kent, don’t call me Chief! How the hell do you expect our readers to understand anything that begins with “quantitative”? What the hell does that mean, anyway?
Clark Kent – Well, Chief, I mean, Mr. White. It has to do with printing money to repay debt….
Perry White – Enough! I need something scurrilous from you scumbags. Something that will sell papers!
Lois Lane (Headline reporter) – Mr. White, I know exactly what you’re talking about! I know a guy that knows a girl that swears she has seen Sarah Palin prancing around in her underwear while listening to a parody playing on the Rush Limbaugh show.
Perry White – Do we have pictures?
Lois Lane – I think so, but I’m not sure. What I saw looked like they were taken when Palin was in college.
Perry White – Go for it! I’ll be damned if I let any other newspaper scoop me on this. Put it on the front page!
Clark Kent – …but, but, Mr. White. What about the controversy surrounding quantitative easing?
Perry White – Kent, you need to understand the newspaper business. Nobody cares about something that was created by some dead-beat economist. The public wants to hear about SCANDAL! From my perspective, scandal sells, especially when it pertains to some public figure like Sarah Palin. Send your story to the middle section where nobody cares about.
Jimmy Olsen – So, you’ll let me run the pictures?
Perry White – Hell no! Nobody wants to see some old dude running around in drag. How disgusting is that? Run a two-paragraph story about some unknown government official who allegedly partied in a dress while spouting economic theory. That should suffice.
Clark Kent – Uh Chief, I mean Mr. White, with all due respect, I think there’s a bigger story here.
Perry White – Kent, you’re getting on my nerves! If you think your story is so great, print it on your own dime. I have a newspaper to run!
Clark Kent – So, you don’t care if I post this story on my personal blog?
Perry White – Hell no! Who the hell is going to read a blog. Uh, what’s a blog?