Help wanted, incumbents need not apply

Looking for a conservative candidate that can espouse and demonstrate an understanding of the United States Constitution. This candidate must have a very strong history of adhering to ethics and show a willingness to challenge the status quo, despite the consequences. Any past, negative media campaigns that were initiated to undermine this candidate’s conservative, constitutional governing style will be considered a plus in this candidate’s application.

A keen sense of fiscal restraint and cost-cutting abilities are a must. The candidate must also have executive experience at running a large organization. Candidates should also have a proven ability to attract and employ conservative subordinates who will also conform to the guiding principles of the United States Constitution.

This candidate must demonstrate an ability to “think outside the box”, challenging conventional wisdom with regards to established, mainstream political thought and opinion. A proven ability to develop bi-partisan legislative majorities is a needed requirement for this position.

This candidate should submit their application in such a way that ensures their inclusion as a balloted candidate in all state’s nominating elections. The successful navigation of this nominating process will be tantamount for consideration of this position.

Incumbents need not apply. Candidates would be well-advised to submit their application with a first name listed as “Sarah”.